Progress – Day 12

Date: Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Wake Up: 6:30am
Pill: 7:20am
Medication: Vyvanse, 30mg
Current Song In My Head: I’m Gonna Catch You – Laurie Berkner

We love this song. It’s a lot of fun to sing with the girls. Of course tonight I was singing it as I was chasing them down the street trying to motivate our oldest to keep moving on her bike. She so desperately wants to learn to ride her bike without training wheels. Our four year old just wants to keep up with her big sis, but until she can do that, she’s just happy to ride past her baby brother screaming his name causing him to burst into raucous laughter.

So I was thinking this morning before I got in the shower.  Traditionally, and this goes back to my mid-20’s, there has been a list of people I run through in my head every morning.  It’s stupid, it’s people I should not be thinking about and I’ve never understood why I can’t get into the shower without running these people through my brain.  It dawned on me this morning that I hadn’t thought those names in over a week.  It’s a simple thing, but gosh darn it, I thought it was pretty cool that I’ve been able to skip that step.  It’s just a small indication of the progress I’m perceiving that I’m making in living with ADHD.

I went back down to the 30mg dose today because I’m tired of staying up till 1:30 without having any fatigue except in my eyes.  Yes, the Vyvanse is keeping me awake, I don’t know that it’s insomnia because I don’t even try to go to bed, but it definitely keeps me alert.  As a result my eyes get really scratchy because they’ve been open for so darn long.

Work was weird today as we wind down and try not to work for free in the summer.  I have some things I need to do on Thursday, and I have a meeting at 3 so I’ll be at work.  Then on Monday and Tuesday we have a training all day, but after that I’m on vacation or on a time card so I make sure I get paid for the time I work.

Woo hoo.  Summer has begun!

Focused Frustration – Day 11

Date: Tuesday June 17, 2008
Wake Up: 6:30am
Pill: 7:20am
Medication: Vyvanse, 60mg
Current Song in my head: Britney Spears – I’m Not That Innocent 

Ok, so I’m watching America’s Got Talent. That has to account for the reason I have Britney Spears in my head. They just had a Britney Spears impersonator on the show. The impersonation was very spot on, until he took his hat off. Yes, I said he. This dude is just plain scary. He had the look, I didn’t think he danced that well, but you can be the judge of that (at least until YouTube takes the clip away).  Fast forward to about 30 seconds to see Britney.

I was on the double dose again today and I must say that my focus is good.  But… I was up until 1 o’clock this morning because I’m just plain not tired.  Forget insomnia, I have too much energy.  It will be interesting to see if this happens again tonight.  I woke up late, not realizing that my alarm had gone off, then I had to iron a shirt because the collar on this thing is way too 1985 for my personal taste.  I got to work on time because we have a sick child, and mom stayed home with her, so the rush to get out the door was not as dire as is typically the case.

I was fine at work today.  The team meeting was a positive experience for me medically, I was on task for the most part.  The meeting wasn’t that great, as it was a bit of a logistical nightmare with my new boss in his current school using the video phone, and the rest of us in a conference room.  We were able to be on the same page using OneNote, but we had some issues because our SharePoint portal was down. 
It’s a frustrating time of year, because so much has to be done, but we’re also being asked to organize a ton of stuff for the beginning of next year.  I am not sure where to start, but I know that I have to have as much done as possible before I leave work tomorrow.

While I have your attention, and trust me, I know those moments can be fleeting:  I have cool kids.  Today, my oldest worked very hard to learn how to ride her bike without the training wheels.  She’s been very frustrated because all of her friends have those extra wheels off, and she doesn’t.  Today, not only was she pedaling up and down the street like nobody’s business, her dad was able to pay attention to it without his mind wandering to the seven-thousand other things he typically thinks of while keeping his children safe on the mean streets of our home town.  I had the baby with me, we sat in the grass while the girls rode their bikes.  It was a lot of fun.

I emailed with the vice principal at a local high school today, that is close to home, but not in the school district in which I am employed.  There’s a possibility that I will be the new announcer for their football and basketball programs next year.  I have spousal approval, now I just have to get hired.

I think that’s all that’s running through my mind right now.

I’m Still Here – Day 10

Date: Monday, June 16, 2008
Wake Up: 5:30am (baby woke up first)
Pill: 7:20am
Medication: Vyvanse, 60mg
Current Song in my head: Go Go Godzilla – Blue Oyster Cult
(dang that Auto Trader Commercial!)

General Notes:
Dang, I got a lot done today. I’m not sure it’s what I needed to do, but I got a lot of it done. As you can tell by my absence of posts, I have had difficulty getting to this. The end of a school year is crazy for everyone I guess. We’ve had birthday parties, and sick kids, father’s day and our anniversary, so I guess I’ll blame those things for not journalling.

Medical Notes:
I switched my dose today. I upped it from one pill to two (60 mg). I felt the difference. I will do the same tomorrow as I head into our big meeting of the week. No noticeable adverse side effects, although I haven’t eaten lunch since I started this process.

Dancing Pigs – Day 5

Date: Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Wake Up: 6:00am
Pill: 6:50am
Medication: Vyvanse, 30mg
Current Song in my head:
Welcome to the 60’s – Hairspray Soundtrack

General Notes:
A weird day to say the least. Arrived at work early to help set up for the End of the Year party at the district office. An hour of crawling around on the gravel setting up the state was just what I needed before I headed in for our typical marathon meeting on Tuesdays. After the meeting I checked my email and discovered that someone had claimed the job I had hoped would drop to me. I am not 100% committed to returning to my old school. Based on some reaction to the news, much of which actually assisted in my decision to seek medical help for my ADHD. Most of my day was extremely focused. Unfortunately, not on what I needed to accomplish.

Medical Notes:
I took my pill a little later today, hoping to make it last later, so that I could be more patient when I put the girls to bed. Didn’t work! I was very short with my middle child trying to put her to bed. I did stay focused during the long meeting and that actually felt really good.

More Focused – Day 4

Date: Monday, June 9, 2008
Wake Up: 5:40am
Pill: 6:35am
Medication: Vyvanse, 30mg
Current Song in my head:
Stay – Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons

  
General Notes:
Another frustrating day as I paid to have my brakes repaired. Not as bad as it would have been had I asked the dealer to complete this repair. Dealership estimated nearly $460 for the repairs. Harvey’s Auto Repair around the corner from my office did it for less than $250, so I guess that was good news.  I was fairly productive today, but still didn’t get done as much as I need to, but I think that’s par for the course for all of us on my team.

Medical Notes:
Day four on Vyvanse. I think I was more focused today than I have been in the past, but I noticed at one point that my legs were shaking for no apparent reason. The nervous shake that I’ve always had. I kept track of my distractions during my team meeting this morning. When I got to five during the hour-long meeting I realized, I might not be distracted as much as I am focused on my distractions. How’s that for a catch 22? I will call the doctor on Thursday and ask about doubling the dose. He said I can do it, but I want to make sure I’ve given the drug enough time to work before I start messing with dosage. I’ve seen too many parents whack their kids out by yo-yoing them constantly with their dosage.

Weird Saturday – Day 2

Date: Saturday, June 7, 2008
Wake Up: 8:15am
Pill: 8:45am
Medication: Vyvanse, 30mg
Current Song in my head: Hmm, I don’t seem to have one at the moment.

General Notes:
Today was a little nutty. It started at about 4am, when my six month old thought he wanted to be awake. I finally got him tired enough to nurse, and soon after, at about 5am, my four year old daughter threw up. The baby has not napped well today, but the four year old has thrown up three times… My wife and seven year old are off to a graduation party, with the baby. The four year old and I are hear watching Wizards of Waverly Place on Disney Channel.

Medical Notes:
Because today is Saturday I was not forced to endure any difficult meetings. I didn’t notice any of the tongue flexing sensation, but I did have a lot of trouble remembering why I’d walked into a room, or why I was opening another window of Internet Explorer, so I guess that’s not a good thing. I had a headache most of the day, and that is to be expected from what I can tell. It’s hard to tell what’s the drug and what is my lack of sleep/stress of the day. I guess we’ll see what happens on day three.

I have ADHD – Day 1

Date: Friday, June 6, 2008
Wake Up: 6:20am
Pill: 6:45am
Medication: Vyvanse, 30mg
Current Song in my head: Guns-N-Roses, I Used To Love Her (it’s okay, I just heard it on KISW!)

General Notes:
Today was a weird today. Before I even left home I had an email from my former and possible future Principal. There was just enough information in the email to make me nervous. I am still trying to move to a school closer to home, and there was perceived progress on that front yesterday, so I did not know if my former/future principal had been notified and that was why he was asking me to call him, or if there was more concern from the school community about my return. On my way to work I had to drop my car off to have the window regulator replaced, I knew this was going to be expensive and that always makes me nervous. Add to that the fact that this was my first day on an amphetamine. I talked to someone at the school I would like to teach in next year, and there was no progress, so the past/future principal must be expressing further information about the school community. For the most part I felt really good. Upset because of the school situation, and I’m never happy to spend a ton of money on my car – and I discovered today that the window was only one of my problems, the breaks will be fixed Monday or Tuesday.

Medication Notes:
The first thing I noticed was on my drive to work. My tongue seemed to be contracting and expanding, like it was trying to find a way to fit in my mouth. My legs felt warm a few times. Being the first day it was hard to tell what behaviors and sensations were brought about by the anxiety and what was actually provided by the medicine. I will say this. At one point a co-worker asked if I had heard what the people in the cube next to us had said. Shockingly, I had not heard their conversation. This is great news. Up until today I’ve been unable to block out their conversations. Not because they’re loud (don’t get me wrong, they are) but because my mind is just too open to hearing what other people are saying! I was able to stay calm with my children this evening, even when they weren’t.

 
Bring on day 2!